The magic of hunger

I've been thinking about hunger a lot lately; being hungry is really an essential ingredient to enjoying food. Our bodies give us hunger pangs for a reason, but we tend to ignore them one way or another.

Many people don't like the feeling of hunger (as I've mentioned in a previous post). They will try to and stay ahead of the hunger pangs by munching all day, and by overeating when possible. Most of the time, this occurs because of a negative experience with hunger - either because of a period of time when food was not available, or, more commonly, a self-imposed starvation diet.

We tend to expect our hunger to be predictable - that we should always be hungry at set times, for a certain amount of food. So, we eat this way, whether our bodies are telling us to or not. We could learn a lot by watching children eat - sometimes they are hungry and eat a lot, sometimes they are not hungry. It really doesn't matter that it is 6pm and dinner is served. If their body is not sending the signals, they will sit there and pick at their food. Until. Until the adults take charge and somehow make them override themselves and eat despite the lack of desire. (How many of today's adults learned to overeat this way?)

Some adults have become so out of touch with their bodies, that they report they don't even know what it feels like to be hungry. They have simply avoided hunger for years, and can't remember what it really feels like.

Others have learned to apply the label "hungry" to unrelated emotions, such as actual boredom, fear, anxiety, anger, etc. They have learned to distract themselves from negative emotions by labeling those emotions as "I'm hungry". Needless to say, this is a contributor to unwanted weight and does not deal with the actual emotion.

Allowing our body enough time between eating to get nice and hungry is a very healthy thing to do - plus it makes food taste much better! We also need to allow our children to get hungry - this is a tricky thing to explain to parents, because it sounds alarmingly like I am proposing we starve our chilren to make them better eaters (I am not). But, when we allow kids to munch all day, giving them access to food whenever they feel like it, they end up not hungry - ever. With kids, this also applies to drinking all day - I have talked to many parents with picky children who reveal that their child is a big all-day milk drinker or juice drinker.

Try it for a few days - really check in with your body, and don't eat until it is sending clear hunger signals. Notice how much better the food tastes. If you have children, try to limit between meal eating and drinking (except for water), and see if they don't eat better when they come to the dinner table with an actual appetite. Don't push them to eat more than they want, because you are overriding their own internal hunger cue! More on feeding kids later....

But what about nutrition?

Another problem people have with the rule of eating only what they like, is that they assume they will never eat a healthy food again if they truly allow themselves to follow the advice.

What I have found is that as people get away from the diet mentality, and stop labeling foods as "good" or "bad", they find they have a fondness for all kinds of food. Rich chocolate cake and super sweet apples. Broccoli with garlic and tiramisu. And, they find that they were eating some things that they really didn't love - maybe they realize that they don't actually like the french fries from Burger King, for example. Or, maybe they realize that they are burned out on boneless, skinless chicken breast for dinner.

It is a leap of faith to allow our tastes to dictate what we eat. However, as you learn more about food and nutrition, you become naturally more interested in trying healthier foods. Some foods we like right away, and some foods we develop a taste for, as we learn more about them.

Also, as we learn to eat only what we like, we end up being satisfied with a smaller amount. Diving into that perfect piece of key lime pie is decadent and satisfying - until about the fourth bite or so. We start enjoying it less, feeling more full, and we have no problem stopping. Wrap it up, waiter - I'll have the rest tomorrow!

Please visit me on PBS Parents!

I have a column posted right now on PBS Parents website - check it out by clicking here!

You mean eat ONLY what I like?

When someone is caught up in the diet mentality, one of the hardest things to convince them is that it's really better in the long run to eat only what you like to eat. We are a nation that believes that healthy food is no fun and doesn't taste as good as unhealthy food, and that the only food we really like is junk food.

Let me give two personal examples. One day, I found myself eating Tootsie Rolls because they were available at the office, and I was needing.... something. Rest, a break, a conversation, whatever. So, I was "rewarding" myself with Tootsie Rolls. Then, I realized - I don't really like Tootsie Rolls. I mean, they're ok, and I kind of get why some people love them - but I don't. And, in turn, they really weren't scratching whatever itch I was trying to get at.

My other example is from the healthier side. I had made chicken for dinner, and it turned out pretty bland. It occurred to me that my yummy Emeril's honey mustard would help out, but I was too busy powering through my dinner to get up and find the sauce. So, I just "made do" with my bland chicken. When I was finished with my dinner, I was full - but I was not satisfied. I still craved... something.

When we force ourself to eat something we really don't like, we will always keep craving. And when we eat whatever junk crosses our path as a "reward", we'll still keep craving. It's that simple.

Try it - pay attention to what you are eating, and ask yourself if you really like it. If the answer is no, you know what to do!

Slacker Golden Rule #3

Commit to building small, healthy habits.

Once you are comfortable eating only when you are hungry and stopping when you are full (Golden Rule #1), and you've given yourself permission to eat what you like and to eat only what you like (Golden Rule #2), it's time to move on to building healthy habits. Which habits you work on will depend on you - there are plenty to choose from, and they all can make a difference. Here's a list of possibilities:

- eat breakfast every day
- eat fruits and/or veggies at every meal
- snack on fruits and veggies
- drink a lot of water
- drink less soda
- move your body every day
- eat together as a family more often
- eat more home-prepared meals
- add more fiber to your meals
- take a multivitamin every day
- take a calcium supplement, especially if you’re not a milk drinker
- stop smoking
- build muscles with weight training or resistance training
- sit down to eat
- avoid eating in the car
- eat out less often
- eat a variety of food, from all of the food groups
- avoid “grazing”
- avoid eating in front of the TV
- try new recipes
- cut down on salt
- other? ________________________________

The point is to keep challenging yourself to take just a little bit better care of yourself than you did yesterday; you deserve it!

Feeding Kids 101

There are great battles going on every night at the dinner table all across the world. The main problem is that we never got the job description for parenting - the one that would have detailed the rules for feeding kids. So, we make it up as we go, and many of us mistakingly believe that getting the food into the kid's belly is main task number one. We don't feel satisfied until the child has eaten the required serving of broccoli, because if they don't eat it, we're a bad parent - right?

Maybe this is why I love this area - it comes as such a relief to many parents when they finally hear and believe the message - you don't have to get the food into the child! Your job is to get the food to the child!

I'm not making this up - the correct way to feed children is to allow them to have some responsibility in the process. Ellyn Satter, author and the pioneer of this method, calls it the Division of Responsiblity. From her website:

Feeding demands a division of responsibility. Parents are responsible for the what, when and where of feeding; Children are responsible for the how much and whether of eating...Ellyn Satter

This requires a bit of attention to fully digest (bad pun, sorry); but, it really boils down to this - you as the parent need to get the food to the child in a structured way - meaning meals and snacks. Then, your job is done. It is not up to you to get the food into the child - that's his job. Barring medical problems, healthy children will eat well this way and will thrive.

This is really the way to raise healthy eaters - this method helps kids to learn about food at their own pace, try new foods at their own comfort level, and grow to the weight they are supposed to be.

Peace to the dinner table!

Let's learn from the skinny people

I know that it seems like certain skinny people stay that way because of blessed genes; but, if you really spend time observing a naturally skinny person, you will realize a couple of things.

#1 - Naturally skinny people tend to honor their hunger. If they are not hungry, they have no problem saying so and simply don't eat. Also, they tend to stop eating when they are comfortably full, even when there is chocolate cake LEFT ON THE PLATE!

#2 - Naturally skinny people tend to eat what they like and leave the rest. Many of these people have been labeled a "picky eater" by those who know them, as if that's a bad thing. They are guided by what tastes good to them, and as they get older and wiser, they are also guided by what they know is doing their body good.

#3 - Naturally skinny people are RARELY, if ever, perfect eaters. If you meet someone who you think is a naturally skinny person and also eats perfectly, chances are they may be suffering from something called "orthorexia" (a term coined by Dr. Steven Bratman). Orthorexia Nervosa literally means "fixation on righteous eating", and it occurs when healthy eating becomes an obsession - another day, another topic.